Whack Your Ex

Whack Your Ex

Not all break-ups end in the horrific death or absolute humiliation of the partner, but wouldn't it be a better world if some did? Some people seem to think so, and this opinion is probably what led to the creation of 'Whack Your Ex'.

Whack Your Ex is another instalment in a series of flash games that allows the player to vent their frustration towards a plausible target, the first being whack your boss. In this case, it's a bitter ex boyfriend or girlfriend your whacking rather than your boss. The offending parties are represented in this game by a generic-looking ex-couple who are about to use a variety of objects to show their true feelings towards each other. It's essentially a game of poorly drawn ex-roulette; you don't know which one of the two is going to die or be vastly humiliated but it is at very least marginally entertaining when/if they do.

The feel of the game is extremely simple as one would expect from a concept as basic as being able to assault someone in flash format for free on the internet. The playing the game is as basic as the background in front of which the game itself is played. This is not necessarily a huge negative, though the game feels a little rushed and half-hearted, and in my case left me bored before uncovering even half of the available weapons

For any overly-enthusiastic movie fans out there, the simple background is reminiscent of a scene in the matrix ("We need guns, lots of guns"). Also, we risk referencing the same film twice in that the game feels more like a Matrix-style simulation of overly-wacky death sequences than a game which progresses in a linear fashion to a definite conclusion. Sure, your ex just got a pie to the face and a blade to the neck, but we want a score, a medal or at least a gold star acknowledging the time we put into playing this game, which is up to 8.5 minutes including loading time. In fact, much like Keanu Reeves’ wooden and lifeless acting, this game leaves me with nagging feelings of disappointment and shattered expectations.

Now, we are not expecting complex storylines, character development or even a late-stage M. Night Shyamalan plot twist in what is essentially a bit of brief session of amateur internet therapy. Regardless of expectations, the fact is that we've played similar flash games with an almost identical premise that have delivered more entertainment and comedy value than this.

The reason we feel short-changed by Whack Your Ex is because even though the premise promises entertainment, we're not amused enough by the game play and as a result, the bloody and barely-amusing death sequences leave me with more morbid feelings than a light-hearted flash-animated game should invoke in a person, and this comes from a veteran of Stick Figure Death Theatre. If we want to simulate the death of someone who's wronged me, we want to be chuckling while we do so; playing a game like this with a straight face and wide eager-eyes is reminiscent of the early stages of a psychological pathology that needs treatment before it makes the evening news. Definitely a game saved for when a person reaches maximum levels of boredom.